For those of you with weak bladders, here's some toilet-friendly advice on what I'll be talking about, so you can plan the next 75 minutes.

1. We'll go through some examples of very stupid things, and I'll talk about some pet favorites of mine.

2. In the second part, I'll talk about the most repeated phrase of the year from technology-savvy people, which is "You Just Don't Get It!". I'll talk about why I hate hearing this, and what this tells us about our relationship with the world.

3 To introduce some Topical Urgency into the proceedings, in the third part I'll talk about why the days when we've never had it so good are behind us, and how Prolonged Stupidity may be curtailed in the near future. Without this Part Three, Parts Four and Five will sound like Chicken Little crap. But things really have changed, so you don't want to miss this.

4 In an embarrassingly brief fourth part, I'll talk about our role in all this. This is probably the best time to nip out for a quick cigarette or a piss. Keep it brief, though, because we're coming to the stuff that matters.

5 I'll address two characteristics of thinking behind technological developments that aren’t very helpful to us at all. This section is very long, but the second part includes the debut of a ground-breaking piece of software, which you'll be the first people in the world to see. You don't want to miss this

6 Having plumbed the depths, I'll try and find some reasons to be cheerful. I'm not a pessimist by nature, so if we're still alive we can use some of these conclusions with which to proceed.